She did not plan; she merely let herself go, and the overwhelming life in her did the rest. It is only when youth is gone and experience has given us a sort of cheap courage that most of us realize how simple such things are.
I should like a real romance please, if those still exist.
1. you always held my hand to keep my fingers from tapping
instead of dancing with me to the music that is always in my head
you told me you don’t know how to dance
and denied my offers to teach you
“there is no music”
2. every time i wanted to watch my favorite movie you told me to pick something different
instead of letting me recite the lines word for word in your ear
or learning to quote them yourself
you told me it’s getting old
“we’ve watched it a thousand times”
3. you wouldn’t even try that coffee i suggested
4. you always wanted to silence me with kisses
and as much as i love the taste of your lips sometimes i need to talk
you knew it was hard for me to open up like that but you could never just listen
“you talk so much”
5. you always accused me of not sharing anything with you
like that time you came over and saw all my paintings
“why didnt you tell me?”
6. you never asked me anything.
not even my middle name.
or what i wanted from the wendy’s drive through
or what movie i would like to watch
you never asked me anything
7. every time you said anything emotional you made a point to add “i’m drunk” to the end of it
because you figured in the morning you wouldn’t have to face it because you wouldn’t remember anything
“what happened last night?”
8. i always remembered.
everything from the crying alone in my car to the laughing in your arms
9. i still remember
10. every time i said goodbye
you didn’t even say it back
the door would open and close without a word
you never thought you would lose me
you doubted my strength to leave
11. i had the strength to leave
12. you still don’t know how many poems are about you
you never wanted to read them